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dearly beloved betsye told me the best things in our two hour conversation the other night. she told me not to be so afraid. she told me to take charge of my journal, not let it have charge over me, etc. she told me to go for it.
well, i guess this trip won’t happen. i’m fighting like hell to travel in a week, but hell is throwing more fury and fire in my face for the hell of it. i won’t give up, but i don’t see the win.
